A BIG shout-out to Jerry Phillips and the Rittenhouse Singers (including my facebook friends Lois Albrecht, Solveig Hadland and Janet Bewley) for making our weekend so special. Last night my honey and I and a few good friends enjoyed the 35th annual Wassail Dinner Concert at the Old Rittenhouse Inn in Bayfield.
Billed as a magical evening to celebrate the spirit of the season, the evening delighted everyone in the house. While 53 of us enjoyed our festive, five-course holiday meals, the choir of carolers performed in the dining rooms and hallways.
Innkeeper Jerry Phillips said the Old English term "waes haeil" translates to "be thou well" and the tradition of "wassailing" — going from house to house in the evening at Christmas time, singing at the doors of the neighbors and wishing them a good New Year — is at the root of the event he and his wife Mary established more than three decades ago.
They quickly attracted an amazing group of talented vocalists, many of whom we know in their professional roles as attorneys, retail business owners, fundraisers, nurses, marketing professionals, teachers, musicians, and even State Representative. The evening filled us up and did indeed celebrate the spirit of the season.
Whatever your holiday traditions, Wassail friends! Be well and enjoy the holiday season and the New Year! "See you" in 2012.
They've starting arriving... those long, "it's all about me," holiday cards. There really is a better way to connect with those important enough to receive your holiday greetings. Make your own custom cards. This is one of the best things I've done in 2011 as my cards tell a story and touch those on the receiving end. And that makes me feel good.
Click here to send a free card. It's easy. Simply add photos, a special message, the date you want the card sent and voila! It's done from the comfort of your home or office and without having to go to the post office.
My journaling and entrepreneurial clients love this service. Think about it. What do you typically find in your mailbox? Junk! Ditto for email. When you customize your cards and have them delivered via snail mail, you WILL stand out from the crowd, simplify your marketing, and have fun in the process.
thx thx thx... I texted that to a friend and felt overwhelming gratitude that the sentiment carried the day in 2011. While I braced for a year of life-shattering loss, I also made the mindful choice to gratefully embrace the blessings of the moment.Here's what I discovered as I journaled my way through the ups and downs:
Simple pleasures bring a smile to the faces of those in the midst of illness as well as those providing love and support: Monkeying Around
Celebrating graduations, weddings, and professional credentialing brings EXTREME JOY to parents, aunts and uncles, and extended family.
During this season of thanks, my cup runneth over with gratitude. Thank you, dear friends, for reading and responding to my 2011 blog posts. Writing from my heart made me vulnerable and open... and touched my readers in ways I never expected... and connected me with the gift of friendship, love and support. It also made me remember that gratitude is good for you.
thx thx thx! Today, I am so very grateful for family, friends and each one of you. Happy Thanksgiving!
My dad would have been 84 today. It's been nearly 6 months since his passing, and his presence is as big as if he were sitting right next to me. And that's a good thing.
Dad had a mind like a steel trap and seemed to know and remember everyone. He would recognize former students that he hadn’t seen in 20 or 30 years, remembered their seat in the classroom, and would always ask about their siblings or friends by name.
He had a big heart. Every week he bought lottery tickets and promised to send the cashier back to India when he won.
He was a natural born leader, superb organizer, darn good cook, great dancer and loved entertaining or taking others out to dinner.
He delighted in being around his grandchildren, bragged to anyone who would listen, and was always certain that they would make good decisions and go far in life.
In his waning days he told my husband that he wouldn’t change one thing about his life; that the lumps were part of the living and learning, that his life was full of meaning and joy.
Dad was a true teacher, and I'll always be grateful for the BIG lesson he taught me: how to live full out with integrity and meaning and how to die with dignity and grace.
Thanks, Dad. You were right; it's a wonderful world.
Grateful for buyers, movers, real estate agents and closing agents. Grateful for 32 years of memories in a home that supported our little family. Grateful for a new home on the shores of Lake Superior. Grateful for the hiking trails outside my front door. Grateful for new adventures. I am grateful. And I'm content.
It's been quite a week as we laid our parents to rest at a service that filled our hearts with great peace. The journey to Canada — my parents' last — was in typical McAlpine fashion with lots of family, plenty of food, and a day of laughter.
We honored them exactly as they wanted in a relaxed and thankful manner at the Kilmartin Cemetery near Glencoe, Ontario. This place held special meaning for my parents plus Dad's sister and husband, also laid to rest, as it's where the McAlpine Clan immigrated in the 1800s. With a short service, family remembrances and a bagpiper performing on the hill, we honored all four dearly departed. Afterward we took a trek to the family farm and sprinkled ashes in some special spots. It was a perfect day and perfect tribute to the special people who shaped our characters, molded our spirits and touched our hearts.
Mom & Dad traveled extensively, but Glencoe always remained their favorite destination. They wanted to be buried in the Kilmartin Cemetery. Mom would sit on their headstone and say, "I love the view from here." Dad would have a big smile on his face, and all 5 of their kids would chuckle.
And now they are together and among their Scottish ancestors, and we will carry them in our hearts forever. Rest in peace sweet darlings.
Leslie McAlpine Hamp
PS - My heartfelt thanks to all of you who have sent your caring thoughts, words and prayers during the past year. You gave me strength when I needed it most and for that I am truly grateful. You also shared so many lovely poems that soothed my soul. Here's one that we read at the committal service...so beautiful, so fitting, so healing.
The Beauty of Death by Khalil Gibran
Let me sleep, for my soul is intoxicated with love and Let me rest, for my spirit has had its bounty of days and nights: Light the candles and burn the incense around my bed, and Scatter leaves of jasmine and roses over my body: Embalm my hair with frankincense and sprinkle my feet with perfume And read what the hand of Death has written on my forehead.
Let me rest in the arms of Slumber, for my eyes are tired: Let the silver-stringed lyre quiver and soothe my spirit: Weave from the harp and lute a veil around my withering heart. Sing of the past as you behold the dawn of hope in my eyes, for It's magic meaning is a soft bed upon which my heart rests.
The songs of the waves and the hymns of the streams Are scattered, and voices of the throngs reduced to silence: And I can hear naught but the music of Eternity In exact harmony with the spirit's desires. I am cloaked in full whiteness: I am in comfort: I am in peace.
Unwrap me from this white linen shroud and clothe me With leaves of jasmine and lilies: Take my body from the ivory casket and let it rest Upon pillows of orange blossoms.
Lament me not, but sing songs of youth and joy: Shed not tears upon me, but sing of harvest and the winepress: Utter no sigh of agony, but draw upon my face with your Finger the symbol of Love and Joy.
Disturb not the air's tranquility with chanting and requiems, But let your hearts sing with me the song of Love, Mourn me not with apparel of black, But dress in color and rejoice with me; Talk not of my departure with sighs in your hearts: close Your eyes and you will see me forevermore.
James Alexander McAlpine Memorial Service, 11:30 a.m. at the Chapel, Griffin Funeral Home with Pastor Drex Morton & special music by bagpiper Donald Ross
Eulogy
James Alexander McAlpine, born October 7, 1927, was a man full of life, a man who put his heart and soul into everything he did, a man who was a constant source of stability, love and comfort to family and friends. Through work and play and hardship and illness, Jim never lost sight of what truly mattered: family, friends, laughter and love.
Born a depression-era baby, the third of 10 children, Jim was thrust into adult roles at a tender age, quickly mastering responsibility, hard work and frugality. In 1931, during the Depression, 4-year-old Jimmy, his mother and three brothers moved to Canada for five months to live at the family farm while his father stayed behind to find work. In October of that year, the family returned to Detroit for the birth of Jimmy’s sister, Anne.
The family lived in very primitive conditions… no electric lights, no indoor plumbing, no radios or televisions, no washing machine, no electric stove, no refridgerator. Jimmy learned at an early age how to work alongside his mother preparing breakfast for his younger siblings.
When he was a student at Northwestern High School, he met Marilyn and married her on December 14, 1946 while home on leave from the Navy. As newlyweds, Marilyn lived in Detroit with her mother and father while her new husband completed his tour of duty. Once a month Jim would come home to visit his bride. Early in 1948 she joined him in Washington DC, where they rented a one-bedroom apartment with a small kitchen.
Jim was discharged from the Navy on October 6, 1948. At 5 p.m. that day, Jim and Marilyn took a cab to Union Station in Washington and boarded a train. He had reserved a stateroom so they could travel in comfort with their new baby, Janet. The stateroom had two cushioned seats, a small bathroom, and room for the bassinette. The porter came in and pulled down the top and bottom sleeping berths, but Jim and Marilyn both slept on the lower bed because Marilyn was afraid they wouldn't hear Janet. They arrived at the train station in Detroit at 8 a.m., Saturday, October 7th on Jim’s 21st birthday. On Monday Jim resumed his job at Ernst Kern department store, where he worked in the display department.
Shortly after his discharge Jim received a note of thanks from President Harry Truman which said, in part: “Because you demonstrated the fortitude, resourcefulness and calm judgment necessary to carry out that task, we now look to you for leadership and example in further exalting our country in peace.”
Jim, a take-charge, responsible person, took that message to heart and stepped into leadership roles everywhere he went. He set high standards, and it came as no surprise that others looked up to him as their natural leader.
He earned a Bachelor of Science degree in January 1953 from Michigan State Normal College, now Eastern Michigan University. He became a statistical analyst for Ford Motor Company and was one of a handful chosen to work in the college graduate training program.
Ford Motor wanted him to stay on as statistical analyst, but Jim set his sights on teaching. When the placement officer from Michigan State Normal College told him of a job opening in Redford, Jim applied and was hired in the fall of ‘53. That began his lifelong career in education.
He worked at Thurston High School as a math and chemistry teacher during the school year and in whatever teaching capacity the administration requested during the summer. Jim also took on other jobs including baseball umpire, advertising sales rep, and real estate agent to provide for his family of seven.
Jim had a full home life.
He delighted in his roles as husband and life-long partner to Marilyn and missed her terribly after her passing. He found comfort in sharing stories of his early days with her, their five children, their dog Ingrid, and more friends and relatives than he could count.
Jim and Marilyn purchased their first home in 1954. That small home was always full of family and friends, and the backyard became an extension of their home with patio, grill, outdoor telephone jack and pool. They had lots of gatherings, and Jim loved to tell the story of the neighborhood kids marching to their house on hot summer days, carrying all of their pool toys. He knew the kids had outgrown the one-foot-high pool, so he turned to Marilyn and said, “We have to get a decent-sized pool for all of these kids.” With the help of his brothers, Jim dug a 5’ deep hole, installed the pool, and he and Marilyn became the heroes of the neighborhood.
Jim was known to chase his five kids around the house waving smelly Limburger cheese until Marilyn said, “Jim! Leave those kids alone.” No one wanted to see that game come to an end.
Jim loved taking his young family to the McAlpine farm in Glencoe, Canada. Every summer he gave each of his five kids a beer case to pack their clothes for two- or three-week stays. He neatly stacked the beer cases into the trunk, piled the kids and dog into the back seat, jumped into the front seat with Marilyn plus one kid, and off the family went for the long drive. He loved all the stops along the way, watching the kids run down the lane to the farmhouse, heating up the old potbelly stove, sitting around the table telling stories, driving into town, and visiting the cemetery, which is full of Scottish ancestors and a rich history. He delighted in the fact that everyone had such fond memories of the place.
Jim was a hard worker.
He always considered himself a teacher, felt he knew his trade, and felt rewarded to connect with and help students. On one occasion, a student broke his leg, so Mr. McAlpine drove over to the student’s house, delivered his homework and gave him a lesson on the material he had missed in class. This went on for eight weeks.
Another student, a 10th grader who was light years ahead of the others, had no friends because he was so bright. Mr. McAlpine observed what was happening and made it a point to speak to him every day. That student became a college professor and astro-physicist. When he found out his favorite teacher had cancer, he sent a long email telling Mr. McAlpine how important he was and how he had encouraged him at a time when it mattered.
Mr. McAlpine had that kind of impact on others.
After 14 years in teaching, Jim became assistant principal, moving between Pierce Junior High, Marshall Junior High, and Thurston High School. He never worked a day without a dress shirt, tie, suit, or slacks and a sport coat. He said his dress was like a uniform that separated him from others and was immediately recognized by the students.
While assistant principal, he continued to tutor kids in algebra, either during his lunch hour or theirs or before school at 7:30 a.m.
He would call some of the kids at 7 a.m. to wake them up to be sure they’d be in school on time.
When it was time to teach the students how to drive, Mr. McAlpine got the job, taking them to the Kroger lot and teaching them parallel parking.
As a school administrator Mr. McAlpine was responsible for the students’ well-being and discipline. He said he had an unusual relationship with students and their parents. He could kick a kid’s behind one day and have them hiding behind him for protection the next. Parents would seek his advice, and teachers would cry upon his shoulder in times of need.
Mr. McAlpine was also the transportation person, social director, and sponsor of the first graduating class of Thurston High School. As the Class of ’57 sponsor, he attended every class reunion and picnic. He was a master networker, and connecting the Class of ’57 with each other was just one example of that skill.
Jim had a mind like a steel trap and seemed to know and remember everyone. He would recognize former students that he hadn’t seen in 20 or 30 years, would remember where they sat in the classroom, and would always ask about their siblings or friends by name.
When he retired from Thurston High School after 36 years in teaching and administration, he became the announcer, scorekeeper, and timekeeper for most athletic events. That position brought great joy and meaning, and he regretted when he had to give it up due to his failing health. All told, Jim was involved in the school district for 57 years.
He loved his job and the life-long friendships he made during what he called “the golden age of education.”
Jim had a lot of interests.
He loved traveling with his wife Marilyn — to Toronto and Glencoe, Canada; to Texas, California and Nevada for 20 years; to the Bahamas and Spain; to New Orleans, northern Michigan and northern Wisconsin; plus a lot of regional trips.
He loved music, knew all the big bands and was a great dancer.
He loved a crowd and could party into the wee hours.
He was really good at trivia, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
He was an avid newspaper reader and always up on current events.
He was a darn good cook and loved entertaining or taking others out to dinner.
He bought lottery tickets every week and promised to send the cashier back to India when he won.
He was a superb organizer and patriarch of the McAlpine Clan, making sure that bi-yearly reunions were planned well in advance and that everyone felt welcome at family gatherings.
In his waning days he told his son-in-law that he wouldn’t change one thing about his life; that the lumps were part of the living and learning, that his life was full of meaning and joy.
James Alexander McAlpine.
A true teacher, he will always be remembered for the final lesson he shared: how to live with integrity and how to die with dignity and grace.
Godspeed dear friend, mentor, hero. You'll live in my heart forever, Dad.
Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
'The King of Terrors', a sermon on death delivered in St Paul's Cathedral on Whitsunday 1910, while the body of King Edward VII was lying in state at Westminster: published in Facts of the Faith, 1919
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How lucky to have been blessed with such loving, supportive parents. Until we meet again, Godspeed sweet darlings.
James Alexander McAlpine, beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend to many, died peacefully at home on April 14, 2011 in Canton, Michigan.
Born October 7, 1927 in Detroit, Jim married his high school sweetheart Marilyn Joyce Golden in 1946, served in the US Navy from 1945-1948, and earned a Bachelor of Science at Michigan State Normal College, a Master of Arts in Education from Eastern Michigan College, and Specialist in School Administration from Eastern Michigan University. All three colleges are currently known as Eastern Michigan University.
A natural born leader and teacher, Jim began a 57-year affiliation with the South Redford School District in September 1953, first as a math and chemistry teacher at Thurston High School, then as Assistant Principal. In “retirement” he was announcer, scorekeeper and timekeeper for basketball and volleyball games and continued in his role as the Class of ’57 sponsor, attending every class reunion and picnic and working hard to connect classmates.
Jim had a mind like a steel trap and seemed to know and remember everyone. He would recognize former students that he hadn’t seen in 20 or 30 years, remembered their seat in the classroom, and would always ask about their siblings or friends by name.
He loved his job and the life-long friendships he made during what he called “the golden age of education.”
Jim loved traveling with his wife Marilyn, visiting with family and friends, and listening to music, especially the Big Bands. His hobbies included dancing, cooking, crossword puzzles, and math and trivia games. He bought lottery tickets every week and promised to send the cashier back to India when he won. He delighted in being around his children and grandchildren and bragged to anyone who would listen.
Jim was preceded in death by Marilyn McAlpine, his wife of 64 years, his parents Robert and Florence McAlpine, brothers Robert, John and Donald, and sister Anne.
Visitation will be held on Saturday, April 23 from 2-9 p.m. at Griffin Funeral Home, 42600 Ford Road, Canton, Michigan, and funeral services will be held on Monday, April 25 at 11:30 a.m., also at Griffin Funeral Home in Canton.
I woke yesterday, on Valentine's Day, with a broken heart. How could this be? It's the day of love, for crying out loud (which I was doing plenty of). But it's really no surprise. My day started by looking at a photo of my sweet mom, who passed away in May. I touched the photo longing for her embrace or even just a squeeze of her hand or just that sweet look as she told me again that I have the most beautiful name. But she's not here... and my dad is 800 miles away, weak and ill, and in his own waning days. sigh
It's doesn't take a PhD to know that I've been feeling blue as a result of a year of loss and grief. On the toughest days it feels like I've been sucked into a vortex, tossed around like a buoy struggling through violent waters, emerging worn out and gasping for air.
Doing a quick search on the subject, I discovered a couple of different grief models. There's the Grief Wheel, which describes the stages of loss, shock, deterioration, protest, disorganization, reorganization, and recovery. And there's the Kübler-Ross model, first introduced in the 1969 book On Death & Dying. I read this in college years ago, but now that it's so relevant, I'm paying closer attention. In the book, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defined five stages of grief and loss — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
She said these stages are experienced by those dealing with terminal illness, death, divorce, job loss, chronic illness, or any catastrophic personal loss. While individuals may not experience all of the stages or in the order listed above, Kübler-Ross believed a grieving person will always experience at least two, including acceptance.
Both grief models show that I'm not cracking up, I won't be forever sad, and I'm not alone. In fact, there are now grief support groups around the country. Good to know.
And alas, Cupid did not desert me on the day of love. I was quickly pulled out of my funk with the sweetest note from my honey plus a bouquet of white roses and a lovely home-made dinner. (Thanks, Sweetie!)
It also helps me remember that you just can't keep a naturally happy person like me down. I'll climb out of the grief vortex as many times as needed. And while I'm doing so, I'll think of my sweet parents who so positively shaped my character, molded my spirit and touched my heart.
Leslie Hamp, Creative Catalyst, offers dynamic fitness, business, journaling and life coaching programs for busy women (and a few good men) who want more — more energy, more momentum, more soul-satisfying success. She is the author of Create the Life You Crave and Beautiful Journal.
